sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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