I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
