now i know why i became what i already was.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..