Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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