remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
