Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
