did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
