you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
