Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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