she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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