did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
