maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
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and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
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Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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