Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just want to make out with him forever
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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