He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
