We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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