Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
