If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
