if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
