I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
