You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
