Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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