I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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