I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
