We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
