I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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