There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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