I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
