I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
