My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
