hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
