I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize