Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
