I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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