no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
