You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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