I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize