I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
