I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
