Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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