I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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