Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I wish there were birth control emojis
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I supernannyed him into submission
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