Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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