im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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