OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
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I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
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I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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