didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She said her name was "party"
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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