Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
