I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I have feelings that need drinking.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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