She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him