this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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