The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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