Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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