Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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