Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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