It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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