I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
