I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
