my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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