I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
