I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
