Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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