I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
