Whod you bang
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
