This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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