low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Randomize
