its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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