You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
