I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
